Musings: Forgiveness Reaches Everywhere

“Santa is really the only cultural icon we have who’s male, does not carry a gun, and is all about peace, joy, giving, and caring for other people”
~ Anonymous

Recently I traveled to Finland and found some fascinating things to share.

Lapland, which is in the northern portion of Finland, is known to be the home of Father Christmas (you know Santa). Of course there are many legends regarding Father Christmas, and while I was not in Lapland, I was pretty close in Tampere, Finland, which is north of Helsinki and the second largest city in Finland.

The purpose for my trip belongs to Marjut Salminen – the founder of “BeeGood,” a program that teaches children about values and character. Marjut is a consummate social activist par excellence and a true good soul who is making this a better world. Twenty five years ago, her brother was killed in a driving accident. In the spirit and power of forgiveness, she reached out to the person who crashed into her brother and was able to reconcile. She heard me on a radio interview in March and she started a dialogue that eventually culminated in her organizing a trip for me to speak in Finland. I was able to present to two separate high schools (Tampere High School and Kangasala High School), at the University of Tampere and at one large community event. I was also able to have a powerful meeting with an organization that deals with supporting youth with the principles used through the non-profit  CANEI (Constant And Never Ending Improvement) program.

Overall, on my first trip to Finland, I made many wonderful friends and was very touched by the hospitality and the warmth of the Finnish people … despite temperatures at – 4 to -8 Celsius while I was there.

While Finland does not have the youth violence issues we suffer in the US, they do have issues of bullying, both in schools and on the Internet, a universal challenge indeed. My message of the principles of nonviolence were very well received, as evident in the photo of the two young boys with arms draped over my shoulder. It is important that we recognize that violence – which comes in many forms both physical and otherwise – is so very painful and sometimes we don’t get that until it happens to us. Now that I do get the devastating and excruciating pain caused by violence, I would never be violent to another human being.

A valuable virtue to adopt is to never resort to violence – in thought or action – irrespective of the circumstances. We teach when we respond with empathy to bullies, as these people must have some issues and likely need help. No child was born a bully, and often bullying is a result of unresolved anger or grief. Violence always makes things worse not better. As Martin Luther King taught us, you cannot destroy hate with hate; only love can do that. In addition, it is important to develop the nonviolence principles of empathy, gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, love and peacemaking. ALWAYS!

As I learned from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, every emotion has a vibratory quality. The emotions I just mentioned have a very high frequency while bullying, anger, resentment, greed, avarice, jealousy, judgment, hatred, bitterness have a low frequency. Happiness and peace is experienced as we live in these high frequency emotions and NOT in the low frequency emotions. It is NOT difficult to know where you are vibrating. Check in with you right now. Are you vibrating at the higher frequency or the lower frequency?

Having done this work for the last 20 years I am spending more and more time in the higher frequency emotions and therefore I have many more days when I am experiencing happiness, peace and flow in my life. Not that I don’t have a “bad hair day” – we all do – but they are much fewer, and when that does happen I meditate an extra hour to get back to vibrating at the higher frequency. I feel this message is universal. Not many of us are cognizant as to what state of emotion we are operating under. It is important to develop an awareness of what that is ALL THE TIME. My recommendation is that if you continue to focus on operating on the higher frequency, your days will be more in the flow, experiencing more peace and happiness. Once you get there, you do actually exude these emotions, which impact favorably to your family, friends and community.

I think my message in Finland resonated with much of the same principles taught by BeeGood. In many ways I do believe these Finnish spend more time in these higher frequency emotions than we do in the US. I was touched by many people that I met, especially those at the Women’s Lions Club who partly sponsored my trip. I did not see in the Finns the stress that our busy life in the US causes.

One of the highlights was a walking tour with high school girls who walked me through the important sights of Tampere … yes in freezing weather! Though I was layered to the hilt, my ears froze! Next time I have to remember “ear mitts.” It was great to see the young girls so proud of their city, their heritage and a world view that is based on these high vibratory emotions. All in all, I felt that I learned more from the Finns than what I brought to them. They do not have the violence or irresponsible gun laws, and they are overall a compassionate society. They have great social services – as opposed to we in the US as we battle the challenges and benefits of Obamacare. Yes, they have higher taxes but a more caring, a more responsible and a happier society. The town of Tampere was meticulously clean, and I never noticed any trash or debris on their streets. Needless to say the country is beautiful, and a place to add to your bucket list!  However – if you don’t like the cold – choose the summer months. Or dress warm and be sure to have your ear mitts. It was a wonderful visit with a new family of friends with whom I do look forward to connecting on a return trip.

Returning from Finland via Atlanta where I spoke at a PTA Conference on the importance of male engagement in our boys and youth, I quickly flew to Washington DC to graduate three Moroccans in the principles of the CANEI program, a program that helps turn around youth offenders. I am excited about this program I co-founded in 2001. It is operating in eight cities in the USA and coming to LA next year. We finally won a grant to do this in Los Angeles. I am excited to see the CANEI  program – with the grace of God – is now going international to Morocco and the Middle East. The next step is to Palestine – we are already working towards it. My partner Mubarak Awad, who is co-founder of CANEI, is a Palestinian and known as the Gandhi of Palestine. So it was great to visit him on the trip to DC along with others who are part of the CANEI program. He is working to bring this program to Palestine. It would be a good program for Israel as well. Hopefully my Jewish friends can assist here! I am so very saddened by the state of affairs in that region as I know many of you are too.

Through my travels – to DC, to Finland and elsewhere – I do believe in the understanding that we are one human race. In spite of the color of our skin, our religious orientation, our socioeconomic status, our gender, or sexual orientation, or our nationality, we can get that we are ONE human race and ONE global family! If we don’t get that,we will never get to peace. And what is more important than getting to peace?
It would be the most cherished gift of any holiday season.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, PEACE AND MANY BLESSINGS!