Musings: Traversing Through Tragedies To Find The Gift To Receive And Give
March 6 marked Tariq’s 41st birthday. As I look back over the last 20 years I am amazed at all that has manifested as a result of a choice I made to forgive his killer rather than go the other way. I can truly say that it was the right choice for me as I have personally grown a thousand fold in my own spiritual evolution over these years.
The gift of spiritual growth continues to manifest every day and in every moment. We are all vessels of the Divine Spirit, and as we grow spiritually our container’s capacity increases to house a larger amount of that Spirit, and the more of it we can contain the more good we can do in the world. When Tariq died the wound was the size of Jupiter – the largest planet in our solar system, 121 times the size of planet Earth. My capacity to contain the Divine Spirit then was the size of a wine barrel. Today the wound is the size of planet Earth, still large but much smaller. In contrast my capacity to contain the Spirit feels like the size of California. As I continue my journey I can hope that someday maybe the capacity of my vessel is the size of Jupiter and the wound will reduce to the size of a wine barrel. That is exciting to me!
During my time of hurt, I experienced a tragedy and took action steps to deal with the grief and in so doing created something positive out of it.
How did I make this choice? The short answer is total surrender. I had no tools to deal with Tariq’s death, leaving my body the moment I received the news. With pain so excruciating I had my first out-of-body experience and went into the loving embrace of God. He held me in an embrace for a very long time and when the explosion subsided he sent me back to my body with the wisdom that “there are victims on both ends of the gun.” This led me to then forgive my son’s killer and understand that the enemy was not the 14-year-young boy but societal forces that force many young marginalized youth in our society to fall through the cracks.
Learning about the horrific statistics of youth violence and helping my family deal with this tragedy in a meaningful way I established the Tariq Khamisa Foundation! Little did I know then that this work was my spiritual purpose – this time around – and the gift Tariq left me was the inspiration to act on my spiritual purpose. We all have a spiritual purpose, and we often get clues of what that is. However not all of us are able to act on it. I have learned over the last 20 years that it is in the doing where the largest growth can take place. So take action!
Sounds easy huh? How can people get to the place to take an action, in even in small ways, in the face of their loss or tragedies so they too can be uplifted along with others?
First before taking action it is important to grieve. There is a good Turkish proverb that says, “He who conceals his grief does not find a remedy for it.” There is a healthy way to grieve – prayer, journaling, meditation, nature, exercise, introspection and a consistent spiritual practice – and an unhealthy way to grieve: alcohol, medications, drugs, anger, etc.
Many ideas are found in a book I coauthored: “Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit – How to Bounce Back from Life’s Hardest Hits.“ It was during the grieving period I got the inspiration to start TKF. Good deeds done in the name of the departed are spiritual currency and they provide high-octane fuel to the departed soul in the next world. So this was a win-win-win. A win for Tariq, a win for me as this put me on my spiritual journey, and a win for society as fewer kids would be killed like Tariq and fewer kids would end up in prison like Tony.
That is rewarding and meaningful. Making the choice and taking the steps can be a win for you as well. First grieve, then be open to receive inspiration on action steps that will not only uplift your life, but also others as well.
How can all of us come up with something to do after a disappointment, disagreement or travesty?
It is important to keep in mind nothing happens without a reason. There is an order in the Universe and hits are a natural part of life. You cannot go through life without hits. It is like expecting to play football without being tackled. That is not happening! It is the Universe’s way to help us grow. So during any hit, disappointment or travesty it is important NOT to ask “Why me” but rather the spiritually evolved question “Why did I attract this to me?” Your answers then will be different. Soul searching for these answers will point you in the direction of your purpose. Once you are on your purpose you will have an eternal tailwind, as the Universe becomes your partner!
With this partnership everything is possible!
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