I remember writing in my journal soon after I lost my son Tariq to a senseless shooting: “There is nothing quite so painful as a broken heart, but a broken heart is an open heart – if one can learn to live with an open heart, gentle transformations begin to happen.”
When I gave a talk in Kalamazoo, Michigan many years ago to a room full of parents that had lost children I started with this quote as I knew there were many broken hearts in the audience. At the end of my talk a scholar at the Fetzer Institute who hosted me came up to me and said, “I was very moved with your opening quote, and it reminded me of a quote by Rumi. As you, like Rumi, are a Sufi, I am certain you know this quote.” My response was Rumi was a prolific poet and has written over a 148,000 quotes, and while I know many I don’t of course know all of them, so please share with me which quote you are referring to.”
Rumi wrote: “God will break your heart over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until it stays open.”
In Charleston, South Carolina recently, all of our hearts were again broken. This was true especially with the hearts of the families, friends and the members of the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and the Charleston community. The loss of nine victims in one tragedy is huge to fathom, and we must pray that the good Lord rest every slain soul in eternal peace and give strength to the families left behind to move forward in their absence.
This is a difficult journey, but what moved me most was the sharing of compassion and forgiveness of the victim’s families. Needless to say they all had broken hearts, but in light of this massive devastating tragedy they chose not to close their hearts but to keep them open. Maybe the lesson in this tragedy for all of humanity is to help us open our hearts. Even when we perceive we have open hearts there is no limit on how much more open our hearts can become.
Why is it important to have an open heart? Because an open heart …
- Can transmit and receive love more easily
- Does not judge
- Does not discriminate
- Is not violent
- Exudes empathy, compassion and forgiveness
- Promotes its own healing
- Is a mark of a civil society
As Rumi points out, “God will continue to break our hearts until they stay open.”
The question we must individually ask: “Is my heart open?”
Azim Khamisa is an international speaker and award-winning author who lives in San Diego. He can be reached at AzimKhamisa.com.
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