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Question of the Month: Lessons in Love in Month of Love

February 1, 2016 | Azim Khamisa | | ,
QUESTION:

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, do you have an update on your journey of discovering some lessons in love? 

 
ANSWER:
POPE FRANCIS QUOTE: “There is no perfect family. We have no perfect parents, we are not perfect, do not get married to a perfect person, neither do we have perfect children. We have complaints about each other. We are disappointed by one another. Therefore, there is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival. Without forgiveness the family becomes a theater of conflict and a bastion of grievances. Without forgiveness the family becomes sick. Forgiveness is the sterilization of the soul, cleansing the mind and the liberation of the heart. Anyone who does not forgive has no peace of soul and communion with God. Pain is a poison that intoxicates and kills. Maintaining a wound of the heart is a self-destructive action. It is an autophagy. He who does not forgive sickens physically, emotionally and spiritually. That is why the family must be a place of life and not of death; an enclave of cure not of disease; a stage of forgiveness and not of guilt. Forgiveness brings joy where sorrow produced pain; and healing, where pain caused disease.”
  


As Pope Francis eloquently addresses, there is indeed no such thing as a perfect family or a perfect relationship. When you are in a relationship, the big lesson I have learned is you are paired with a partner who is a perfect teacher to help you grow … and vice-versa. I believe that sometimes when that growth is complete, some couples do separate and others get to a new plateau. The main thing to remember is relationships are about growth, and the challenges in love and relationships are “bardos”or “transitional states” taking us from one state of being to another. These events in relationships can often be very painful but upon further reflection and meditations there are hidden gems to help us grow and become a better person! So when the arguments subside, take time out to reflect and meditate on the lessons. And see this as a blessing. Also it is important, as Pope Francis mentions, to forgive. Holding on to resentment or guilt is not healthy. There are plenty of resource, books, CDs and DVDs on how to forgive on my website www.AzimKhamisa.com.

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