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Musings: A Tribute to My Mama Remy

May 1, 2017 | Azim Khamisa | | ,

Mothers are the most important aspect of the human species as they bring forth life and provide nurturing care for their offspring. Without mothers there would be no life. So, on this auspicious celebration of Mother’s Day, I offer this:  

To all mothers who are part of my community, to the mothers of those mothers who are also part of my community and to all who are part of the global community, I give you my special heartfelt gratitude for birthing and nurturing new life. I offer prayers that the good Lord blesses you with good health, inner peace, happiness and many blessings. To those mothers who have made the transition to the next world, special prayers that the good Lord blesses their souls to rest in eternal peace and forever shine in our hearts as luminous light of unending unconditional love.

Remy Khamisa, my mother, a strong-willed determined lady, a matriarch of the Khamisa family and an equally important member of her maiden Ahmed family, entered immortality at 8.30 p.m. on April 28, 2017 in Vancouver, Canada. The setting was a beautiful hospice that was reminiscent of a sacred temple surrounded by abundant love of her immediate family.
She turned 87 on February 2, 2017. She suffered a massive stroke on April 18 and spent the last 10 days in both the Lions Gate hospital and the North Shore Hospice. Her entire family, many well-wishers, friends and community members were able to pay their final respects with nonstop prayers while she was alive.

 
Mama spent her entire life in service of her family, God and her community. For more than 70 years of her life she attended mosque nightly, as well as opened the mosque every morning at 3 a.m. for the worshippers who came to meditate from 4 to 5 a.m. The Ismali faith is in the Sufi (metaphysical interpretation of Islam) tradition, and we have prayers twice a day every day. Mama never missed a day except for the last five months when she suffered from ill health. She continued her spiritual practice at home.

In many ways, her final gift was to bring the entire family and many others together for those last 10 days of her life on the planet. It was a loving remembrance of the importance of the family structure and more importantly the duty and responsibility of each of us to keep that family connected and intact. She also role modeled the importance of maintaining a strong, disciplined and consistent spiritual practice and service to our respective families and communities, as those good deeds is what we take with us to the next world.

She was undoubtedly the glue that kept together the Khamisa and the Ahmed family – the children, grandchildren, the great grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, siblings and the second-tier members of the respective families. And she did so in a loving, thoughtful and a consistent manner throughout her life. In addition, there were many people from her mosque whose lives she helped in myriad of ways, and these same people visited her in deep gratitude, offering her prayers for a transition into peace.

Remy Ahmed was born in 1930 and married early at age 16 to my dad Noordin (who passed nine years ago at age 84). She gave birth to my older sister Yasmin who was born in 1947, myself in 1949, my brother Nazir in 1955 and my youngest sister Neyleen who was born in 1964. Neyleen has been the caregiver living with my Mum for over five years, providing loving attention and fulfilling all of her needs 24/7. As a result, save for the last 10 days, my Mum was able to be in her own home. For this, my family and I are eternally grateful to my sister Neyleen and pray the good Lord reward her many fold for her tireless and loving care of our mother.
Yasmin (passed early at age 57) was married to Tony Nice and had three amazing boys Karim, Salim and Nazim. Karim lives in North Carolina married to Nancy and they have three beautiful children Naomi, Liam and Zack. They were all very close to my Mama and were able to speak with her over the phone, over the Internet, and in the case of Karim in person. Salim is married to Janice, and they have a beautiful boy Elliot and live in Seattle. They regularly visited Mama and was in many ways a very helpful grandson for many of her household fixit chores and other needs. Nazim also lives in Seattle and also regularly visited Mama. He even spent an entire night at the hospice prior to her passing.   

  

I was married to Almas and although later divorced, we have kept a close friendship over the many years. We were blessed with Tasreen and Tariq. As most of you know, Tariq died in a very tragic way in 1995 at the young

age of 20, forever changing the forward path of Tasreen’s and my life – in the work of the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (www.TKF.org). Tasreen is the Executive Director of her brother’s foundation, and I serve as the Founder and Chairman of the Board. Tasreen was married to Mehrdad and has blessed us with three amazing grandchildren: Shahin, Khalil and Miya that bring untold happiness into our lives.

Tasreen rushed to Mama on Thursday after Mama’s stroke on Tuesday and stayed with Mama for the next eight days, spending a good part of the day and sleeping every night along with Neyleen at the hospital and later at the hospice. Soraiya too stayed with them on the days she was in Vancouver.

 

My brother Nazir was born in 1955 and is married to Shelina. They live in Kenya, though Nazir was able to be with us in Vancouver. We both spent the last two weeks in Vancouver and left after our Mama’s funeral on May 2. They have a beautiful and smart daughter Soraiya who lives in San Diego. Soraiya made two trips from San Diego prior to Mama’s passing and again for her funeral. Heartfelt thank you Soraiya. I know Mama and the whole family appreciated this.


 

Finally, my sister Neyleen, mentioned above, was born in 1964 and has lived in Vancouver since 1976. She has spent the last 5-plus years providing exemplary care for my mother. Needless to say, she and Mama were very close and shared a lot of love and care for each other.

Nazir, my family and I are truly grateful for her dedicated loving service to Mama for all these years. She was constantly helping Mama with chores, inspiring hobbies, driving Mama to and fro to mosque, keeping diligent track of her medicines, multiple doctor visits, and did most of the cooking during the later years of Mama’s life.
Mama was one of six siblings in the Ahmed family, and in many ways played an important role in the lives of her siblings, their children and grandchildren.
Her five siblings – Hassan, Madat, Mamli, Doli, Afzal – all played a major role in her life. Their extended families and relatives, as well as detailed sharing can be found in the website version of this letter HERE.

Mama was my inspiration in the spiritual life I live today and the one who got me into meditation when I was 20 years old. I have maintained that emphasis on my spiritual path as I meditate regularly two hours a day. Such practice has helped me tremendously to navigate the hard hits I encountered in dealing with Tariq’s death, who was 20 at the time. Meditation has been my mainstay to navigate life’s hardest hits we all at some point of our lives must suffer.

I have many special memories of Mama, too many to list but her largest gift to me was inspiring my spiritual foundation and for this I am eternally grateful. She will forever live in my heart, thoughts and prayers. God speed Mama – know you are lovingly remembered by many, and we are all praying that Allah rests you in eternal peace and happiness, free from any pain.

We love you dearly and know someday we will be together again!

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Azim Khamisa

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