Question of the Month: Balancing Helping Others As Well As Yourself

I have seen that finding this balance is illusive and challenging.

Saying “no” is a good start but I – like my mother – am horrible at saying no. As a friend once reminded me, NO is not a dirty word.

I, too, often grapple with this, as I travel the world doing 70 to 100 presentations every year, teaching nonviolence, empathy, compassion, forgiveness, peacemaking and peacebuilding. While this activity is fulfilling and meaningful (especially as many are targeted to young emerging leaders), it can be tiring and tough on my body and health, especially the unhealthiness of air travel. In recent years it has helped me to extend my travel engagements by adding a day at the end of my talks to rejuvenate, relax, take a walk (which I love to do), maybe get a massage or spend some time in a spa or go to a movie. In essence, I take a free day before jumping into the next thing. I did not always do that and have learned this lesson the hard way.

Also – I find that my regular meditation practice helps me process my day and returns me to a balanced rejuvenated state, providing the energy to tackle the next challenge. I believe it is important to carve out time a couple of times a day to reflect, relax, walk, journal, meditate, or read something inspiring.

These reflecting moments are important to recharge your batteries rather than the go-go-go lifestyles we live in the western competitive world – which often leads us to exhaustion and burnout.

Good health is to find this balance. It is illusive and changes based on the events and experiences one is going through, but it’s vital to develop a DAILY practice and remain disciplined to stick to that practice. I always find a way to meditate, and it is because of this consistent practice that I am able to meet the challenges. It helps in balancing the desire of helping others while also taking care of my own health and well-being. Although I agree it is a difficult challenge and while I am getting better at it, I have not fully solved this predicament in my own life. I continue to persevere to find this illusive balance of being there for others and myself.

For those of you reading this, can you offer your process or practices that help you find such a balance?