The Power of Forgiveness: 3 Real-Life Stories That Could Be Yours

The younger of two brothers attended my workshop, full of anger and resentment towards his older brother that had been caught stealing after he had hired him in his business. Learning the steps of forgiveness, I emphasized that “relationships are more important than money. Money can be re-earned, but a broken relationship is often irreparable.” I impressed upon him that “you do not want to be owned by money, but own money, (as we all know) money can do much damage in one’s life.” I further explained the possibility of a gambling or drug addiction that could have caused his brother to steal in the first place and stressed the importance of not only forgiving him but getting him help to deal with his addiction.

Before the close of the workshop, he had already reached out to his brother in forgiveness and offered whatever help his brother needed to combat his drug addiction. The relationship has since blossomed and both brothers sleep well again and have created an unbreakable bond.

The question to ponder is who is the older brother (person) in your life that treated you so badly or did something you have not yet forgiven?

In a course I facilitated in England, one of the participants had not talked to her mother for 20 years and you could see–and feel–her anguish and hopelessness. The pain of those 20 years was showing in her aura and personality. One of the exercises within the Soulular Discovery process is to “reach out to the offender with love and compassion.” After I teach this exercise, we do a guided meditation and then write a letter to this person (the letter may or may not ever be sent but is more of a personal experience than anything else.) Often the person is someone very loved.

I reminded the woman who was so clearly suffering that “your mother gave you the gift of life. If she did nothing other than that, as her daughter, you owe her. Think about all the gifts she gave you before you two were estranged. Do you want to go through another 20 years of unbearable pain? Forgive her so you can be free of anguish and pain, then reach out in love and compassion. Take the high road.”

After the exercise, she read the letter she had written to her mother out loud to the group–it was deeply cathartic prose that brought tears to everyone in the class, including me. The authenticity of her words and the complete forgiveness of her mother were real-life examples, and you could see the anguish in her aura lift and the color come back to her cheeks. A Soulular transformation occurred at that moment and the relationship was healed—and the mother and daughter now have a loving relationship where they talk to each other every day.

Do you have someone in your life you have not spoken to for too long? Do you really want to continue on that path or would your life be fuller and more peaceful with them back in it?

One of my corporate training programs teaches how to turn conflict into unity using the principles of Restorative Justice. This is a new approach from the typical punitive mindset that you see in many of our corporations and institutions. We tend to be an “eye-for-an-eye” society, but where has it brought us? The principles of RJ are very much in line with my personal journey and Soulular discovery process: the goal is to make the victim whole, return the perpetrator back to society as a functioning and contributing member, and heal the community.

These mandates can be applied to ANY conflict or transgression. Where there are people, there is conflict—but I see conflict as an opportunity to create unity. One of the prerequisites is to strengthen one’s empathy muscle. In my training, I lead an experiential exercise to do exactly that. Even the CEO was amazed that a short 15-minute exercise resulted in redefining one’s empathy muscle. (Imagine what we can do in 4 days!)

In this corporate workshop, the CEO had recently fired one of the team members without consulting the rest of the team. In my course, I create an empowering space so the elephant in the room can be safely and openly addressed. One of the team members confronted the CEO and voiced his displeasure with how and why the team member was fired without due process. As soon as he shared, several others voiced their dissatisfaction because the fired team member had contributed significantly to the company’s progress. The CEO took responsibility and apologized to the team. He showed goodwill—which leads to trust and respect and deepens one’s empathy.

Most times CEOs (as well as many of the rest of us) become defensive, so I acknowledged him for that wisdom to take responsibility but then posed the question, “how do we make sure this does not happen again?” After an awkward silence, the CEO said to me, “Azim – what do you recommend?” My response was that these types of actions do not happen in a vacuum as typical ramblings and conversations at the water fountain show the inkling of a potential infraction.

I asked him, “If this happens again are you willing to have your team members call on you before you act?” Compassionately addressing his team he said, “Absolutely, I want to be a better CEO and I give all of you permission to call me on any action you do not see appropriate as you all are valuable members of our team.” At that point, the team member who first complained gave the CEO a genuine hug and the energy changed in the entire room as we witnessed the conflict translate into unity.

So, the lessons that you will learn in this upcoming course, much like the examples above, will help you heal from the worst situation you have been dealt with so far and will be the tools you can continuously use in all relationships (including the one you have with yourself) as you journey through life.

The Strong in Spirit Masterclass spans over 4 half-days (4.5 hours each session/18 hours total) and is comprised of experiential training to apply these skills for better, more compassionate outcomes in your relationships, work, family, and community.

Wishing you peace and many blessings and a loving Valentine’s Day!

Azim Khamisa