Musings: The Ides of March – Transformation is Here and Now

Wikipedia defines the Ides of March: “It was marked by several religious observances and became notorious as the date of the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC. The death of Caesar made the Ides of March a turning point in Roman history, as one of the events that marked the transition from the historical period known as the Roman Republic to the Roman Empire.”

The Ides of March, which is related to Caesar’s assassination transformed the Roman Empire. We’ve all experienced our own Ides of March in various ways. For me, it was my son Tariq’s death that transformed my life forever.

Tariq died at age 20 on January 21, 1995; his 43rd birthday was last Monday, March 6. We as a family got together and celebrated Tariq’s birthday along with my granddaughter’s birthday Miya who turned six on March 12.

Yes, a bittersweet moment but mostly sweet inspired by the joyful energy and playful expression of the beautiful 6-year-old Miya, as well as the honoring of countless blessings that continue to be done in Tariq’s name through the Tariq Khamisa Foundation, and through extensive global speaking engagements teaching nonviolence, empathy, compassion, forgiveness, peacemaking and ways to transform conflict into love and unity.

I am often asked how have I sustained the energy of doing this work for the last 22 years, giving between 70 and 100 presentations a year around the world. As an example, since September 2016, besides an extensive speaking schedule in the US, I have been blessed to give presentations in Australia, Finland, London, India and Dubai. The short answer to the question is: I’m simply walking in my dharma.

Dharma is an amazing Sanskrit concept with many meanings, and without an equivalent parallel in the English language. The definition given by a bona fide spiritual Indian sage: “Dharma means nature of a thing. Just like the dharma of sugar is sweetness, and the dharma of water is wetness. The dharma of the living being is to render service to God. Therefore everyone serves God without fail, either directly or indirectly. The devotees serve Him directly and the non-devotees serve him indirectly.”

My personal definition of dharma that I espouse is: “Finding and being on your spiritual purpose.”

Tariq’s tragedy put me on my spiritual purpose. We all have a spiritual purpose but sometimes it is complicated to know what that is. Not for me, as in Tariq’s death I was able, with the grace of God and Tariq’s ultimate destiny, to discover my spiritual purpose. When you are on your dharma the Universe provides you with the energy to sustain and excel in your purpose. It is like having a perpetual tailwind! That has been my discovery in the tireless but immensely fulfilling work that I have done over the last 22 years.

The spiritual avatar and saint Amma explains it like this: “Love, blessings, grace, and compassion are all merely synonyms for God. Such virtues and God are not many, but one. This grace and blessing is all-pervasive. When we perform our dharma cheerfully with an open heart, this power and grace flow into us.”

Everyone’s dharma is different and can only be discovered through experience, deep introspection, prayer, meditations and listening to the internal spiritual guidance. In this way, I believe dharma lies under the broad umbrella of “service.”

One of my favorite quotes by Albert Schweitzer is “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.”

My passion has been working with the youth. They are the ones who can truly change the world. The youth have large reservoirs of energy and strength, and if they are able to awaken, our future will be secure and in good hands. I am blessed to be often in front of students around the world inspiring this awakening. This has been a hugely fulfilling and rewarding dharma for me as chronicled in my trilogy:

I enjoy a level of peace and happiness today that I never felt before – not that I would not want to have Tariq back – of course in a New York second – but unfortunately that is not possible.

However, with the tragic loss the Universe continues to provide me the grace, strength and inspiration to do more. Is that a tragedy or mystically meaningful? Every cloud has a silver lining!

As I look back at the last 22 years I have personally grown a lot from my work, especially in the spiritually realm. It all started with a singular idea: “forgiveness.” Everything that has manifested in my life over these many years has its genesis in the choice to forgive Tariq’s killer. I can say without hesitation that this was the right choice for me.

I am reminded of the following quote of Swami Vivekananda who Amma describes as an individual whose character was a perfect blend of mental purity and vitality. I see these same attributes in her as well:

What is your one idea?