It is often important to first get empathy before you are able to offer it to another.     The biggest impediment to “empathy” is judgement. We live in a very judging society based on the many isms that plague our relationships. It is also not possible to have empathy for someone you do not…

  Self-forgiveness comes up a lot in my work. What I have learned in my journey is that self-forgiveness is equally as important as forgiving another. At some level we have all caused harm to people who are closest to us. This then creates a festering wound of guilt that precludes us from functioning at…

Question: People are going through a lot of changes and transformation during this springtime of renewal. Renewal and forgiveness are related on some level. Do you have any ideas for people as they go through these changes? Answer: Yes, spring is a time of renewal and new beginnings. It is gratifying to see so many…

Question: You went to visit Tony. Who was there? How did it go? What can we expect for the future? Answer: I visited Tony a couple of weekends ago at the Colony Men Prison in San Luis Obispo with Dianne McKay a long standing TKF volunteer and board member, and my daughter Tasreen who is…

Question: Where does romantic love and humanity-level love intersect, or are they not related at all? Answer: Many poets, philosophers, pundits, songwriters, clergy and brilliant people have tackled the challenge to explain and define “love.” It is a universal force and maybe the reason there is integrity and divine order in the universe. Think about…

Question: Do you believe in New Year’s Resolutions? And if so how do you feel people can make them stick and see results?   Answer: My method is to not to go into unrealistic resolutions but to set goals. It helps if you break down these goals into subsets of the many roles one plays…

QUESTION: “What was it like to do a TED talk?”      ANSWER: At first it was a frustrating experience and we had to jump through many hoops. TED Talks are highly structured, and they have a serious commitment to their format. They are perfectionists and do not compromise quality. Of course, I was rebellious…

QUESTION: “What are your preliminary thoughts about the recent shooting in Las Vegas?”      ANSWER: I am still in deep meditations of this tragedy, but my initial reaction takes me back in time. I remember writing in my journal soon after Tariq passed away: “There is nothing quite so painful as a broken heart,…

QUESTION: How can you balance the desire to help others with the need to take care of yourself?      ANSWER: I have seen that finding this balance is illusive and challenging. Saying “no” is a good start but I – like my mother – am horrible at saying no. As a friend once reminded…

Can You Explain the 40-Day Grieving Ritual in the Ismailis – Sufi Tradition Such rituals are thousands of years old and help humanity successfully navigate the tough spots in one’s lives such as the death of a loved one. In the Ismaili faith we are taught to grieve for 40 days after the passing of…